Sex, the God that Rules the USA 

Here is the general tidal wave crashing on the beach of our culture: “No one can tell you what you should do in regard to sexuality. The highest evil is preventing someone from having sex in any way…unless it involves children.” (Which I am sure this will soon change. I mean who are we to tell children what they can and cannot do? Apparently it is now wrong to even announce the gender of a child when they are born.)

If you are like me you have probably had your fill of seeing opinions for or against the Supreme Court Ruling on the Hobby Lobby Case.

In a nutshell here are the arguments:

For Hobby Lobby: Private companies should not be forced to pay for conscience violating birth control pills

Against: Hobby Lobby Hates Women!   Get the boss out of my bedroom.

This is such a hot button issue because it brings to light a much deeper divide in our country.   It is the same as all the other divides. It is a divide over what you believe about God.

Whether you agree or not, this country was founded on Christian values and principles.   Sure there are many examples of where our nation got it wrong (slavery, racism, etc..).   But, generally speaking since the foundation of our country the majority of individuals have believed that marriage is between a man and a woman. Sex should be reserved for marriage and marriage alone. This is the basic teaching of the Bible and of Jesus. The New Testament warns over and over about the harm of sex outside of marriage to both your body and your soul.   The Old Testament gives a number of examples of how harmful sex can be with multiples wives, partners, etc.

The culture in the USA is in a major sexual shift. We are becoming “enlightened.”   With the drugs we have today sex is freely available now more than ever.

The heart of the ideological war in our county is over SEX.

The loud voices of the media, liberal politicians, and college students everywhere are shouting, “there is no God and you should be able to do what is right in your own eyes.” Of course most don’t say it like this. In fact most would still identify themselves as Christians. But they are the type of Christians that think Jesus was a celestial nice guy that taught us how to tolerate everyone.   I guess they forget about the part that His message was so radical that they murdered Him on a cross.

The stereotype seems to be that anyone who tells you that you cannot do something, particularly in regards to sex, is evil and a religious nut. The media stereotypes Christians as those right wing nuts who eat the “hate” chicken at Chick Fila and want to take away your right to have sex. This is at the heart of the matter

Some of the most contentious issues in our Nation:

1)   Homosexuality, Same Sex marriage

2)   Abortion and Birth Control

3)   Transgender Issues

4)   Pornography

Most of the above listed issues are becoming more accepted by the country at large as permissible.

To be honest people who do not claim to be Christian should not be held to the standards of Christ. Lost people act lost. They are trying to find fulfillment in sex…however they will not find it. This will not change.   It will only get worse.   The only thing that is new is that now there are no laws to prevent all sorts of sexual deviance. The homosexual agenda has successfully, though falsely, made homosexual issues the civil rights issues of our day.   Who you have sex with is a choice and not a civil right.

I want you to think about this question: Does sex matter to God?

Culture in general is not evil but culture can go in evil directions.   Like an animal in heat, Christians must be SO CAREFUL not to chase after the culture in the area of sexual purity.   The Bible does not teach us that we are simply more evolved animals. The Bible teaches us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made with a purpose and a calling on our lives to bring glory to God. It is not, nor will it ever be ok for anyone who bears the name of Christ to have sex outside of the heterosexual confines of a marriage relationship. Period!

I have fears and optimism for the next generation of Christians in the US.

My fear is that, in general they are accepting homosexual behavior ok with God. Can we who died to sin continue to live in it?   May it never be! We must remember that we must hate that within ourselves that God hates, sin! We can never be ok with lusts and sex outside of what God says is ok. Sin brings death. We cannot love, in ourselves, or others that which brings death.

My optimism comes in the admission that the next generation will be more loving to homosexuals than the previous.   They do not fear or vilify people who identify themselves as homosexual.   Perhaps they will do a better job of reaching them with the Gospel of Jesus and providing them hope for freedom from a sexually perverse lifestyle.

What Does A Christian Do In Such A Culture Where Sex Is God?

 

Live Pure Lives

Don’t look at pornography or lust after someone who is not your spouse.   Do not sleep with someone you are not married too. Do not entertain yourself with sexual content (movies, shows, books that make you think of sex with people other than your spouse)

1 Corinthians 6:18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Teach Your Children What God Says About Sex.

Teach them that their bodies are valuable.   Teach them that God has a plan for their sex life.   Make sure you help them understand that sex is a good gift from God. His commands regarding sex are not to keep us from sex but to keep us for sex. Teach them that sex more than a physical exchange but a mingling of souls. Let them ask you questions. Be honest. Teach them the value of purity.

Do Not Seek To Shield Them…Teach Them.

Obviously there are some things you need to shield your children from. It is inevitable that they are going to see two men holding hands or two women kissing or even a commercial that shows a wholesome family with same sex parents.   These are teachable moments. Be clear that as people who follow Jesus we love all people but God teaches us that these lifestyle choices are wrong and sinful. Teach them of the harmful physical affects caused by sex outside of marriage. When they are old enough give them the statistics from the CDC, “Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM)a represent approximately 2% of the United States population, yet are the population most severely affected by HIV. In 2010, young gay and bisexual men (aged 13-24 years) accounted for 72% of new HIV infections among all persons aged 13 to 24, and 30% of new infections among all gay and bisexual men. At the end of 2010, an estimated 489,121 (56%) persons living with an HIV diagnosis in the United States were gay and bisexual men, or gay and bisexual men who also inject drugs.” Give them facts about the harmful physical illnesses caused by sex outside of God’s plan.

Stand Firm But Remember You Will Not Shout Someone To Your Side

Express your beliefs but do not get into shouting matches or arguments that are unfruitful with those who disagree with you. This is about as helpful as posting a Facebook meme about how awful president Obama is and then expect your liberal friends to want to be conservative. Not. Going. To. Happen.

Remember, just because the government now allows certain evils do not mean we must condone or accept them.

The signs outside of the Courthouse while waiting for the Hobby Lobby verdict read: “BOSSES OUT OF OUR BEDROOM!”

This can never be said of a Christian!   Our Boss is Jesus.  We can never take God out of our bedrooms or any other area of life.   I pray that we would make pleasing Jesus our highest goal, not sexual fulfillment.   I want to warn Christians not to make sexuality the god of their lives.

While Christians are winning fewer and fewer media and cultural debates we choose whether or not will win the private purity debate in our own lives. I encourage you, if you consider yourself a Christ follower to live a pure life and stand for what you believe God says about sexuality.

1 Peter 4:So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you have suffered physically for Christ, you have finished with sin.* You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.

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The Theology of Yoga Pants

1 Peter 3:Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

It is that glorious time of the year known as spring.  In our hyper-sexualized culture as the heat rises clothes start to come off. To say our culture is obsessed with body image would be like saying Antarctica is kind of chilly.

As someone that cares about Christian women I want to give a little pastoral/fatherly counsel. I find there are less and less young ladies that have a Godly father or male role model to speak truth into their lives. I would like to speak to Christian females as a loving father, as if I am talking to my three girls. These are some things I will tell my girls as they grow up, they may be helpful to some of you grown women as well.

Everything you wear says something about who you are and what is in your heart. While most women would not verbalize this, or even think about it, they want people to look at them. They want others, particularly men, to think they are beautiful.   Today, people spend countless hours at the gym and tons of money in order to make their bodies look a certain way.  Most of the time people say that diet and exercise is for their health but if their hearts were exposed it is really about 10% for their health and 90% so they can look good (this is true of both men and women).  They have been told since the time of childhood that princesses are beautiful and wicked stepsisters are ugly.  From almost the moment of birth little girls are taught that so much of their value is found in their looks.

Beauty= good

Ugly = bad

Yoga pants defined – tight (usually black…black is slimming you know) pants that cling to every fabric of your skin.  These pants are appropriate to wear at home with your husband and are great to go underneath a dress or long tunic…however when you leave your rear end uncovered you are pleading with every man in eye shot to check out your backside.

WHAT WOMEN CANNOT UNDERSTAND

Contrary to popular opinion God made men and women different.  Women and men are wired so differently it is impossible for a woman to understand how a man’s mind works (It is doubly impossible for a man to understand how a woman’s mind works).  Men are visual.  God wired us in such a way that when it comes to the female form we do not miss much. If a woman is wearing something that is tight fitting, too short, too low cut, etc., a man will notice. He may not admit he notices, but he does.  I can hear the rebuttal from women now, “Men are just a bunch of dogs and should learn to control themselves.” Perhaps your argument it very sound. Men are geared with a deep sexual desire that God gave them to express in the joys of a marital relationship. But saying men are like dogs does not change that fact that men are looking.    Christian men are looking. Ladies this may creep you out but you need to know, OLDER (think grandpas…eww) men are looking.  You see, the desires of a man’s flesh never changes.  Whether he is young or old he has to constantly deny those sinful desires and seek to honor the Lord with his mind.   If you love your brother in Christ and do not want him to see you or think of you in a way less than holy then consider these few questions and ponder them in your heart:

ARE YOU ADVERTIZING WHAT IS NOT FOR SALE?

When you put a “For Sale” sign on something, if it is interesting people will check it out. If you put a “FOR SALE: CHEAP” sign on something they may want to buy it if they have to pay very little. When you wear clothes that are immodest, you are advertising to the men all around you that you are cheap. God made women in His image and He never meant for them to be cheap.  The Bible says that He bought our redemption not with silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ.  If Christ would pay this much for your soul, why would you advertise your body as cheap?  I will tell my girls that they are very valuable and when they find the man God has for them to marry, they will know because he will marry them before he tries to sleep with them. If you’re dressing in a way that is immodest, would you consider that you are inviting men to think about you in a sexual way?  According to the Bible, this way of thinking should be reserved for your husband.  Christian men should see Christian women as daughters, sisters, or as mothers. Do you want your Christian brother to think of you as an object of lust, or as a sister in Christ? The way you dress WILL influence how he thinks of you.

ARE YOU MAKING OTHERS FOCUS ON A PART OF YOU THAT WILL SOON FADE AWAY?

Your looks are not around for long.  Even the most beautiful woman may have 40 years of stunning physical attraction. What happens after she has passed her prime? What happens when your perfect curves begin to sag?   What happens when that beautiful skin begins to wrinkle?  If you have made others value your looks then you are quickly losing your value. If you value comes from, “the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” then as you get older you only become more precious to God and others. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

ARE YOU TAKING WHAT GOD MADE HOLY AND MAKING IT COMMON?

There is a Proverb that says, “A beautiful woman who lacks discretion

is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.”  Can you picture gold, the most precious of metals, in the nose of the most vile animal? A pig spends its days in the slop and has no need or concern for the value of gold. A woman who is immodest is taking the gold that God has given her and putting it before pigs (sorry guys).  You are so much more valuable than your vessel.  You are not a body that has a soul, but you are a soul that has a temporary body.  Your body will soon wear out.   Help people look at you for what is lasting about you and not what is quickly fading away.   Here is what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:15 “Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ?”

HERE ARE A FEW BASIC GUIDELINES THAT MAY BE HELPFUL.  

Wear Yoga Pants/Tight Pants in private and not in public unless you are covering your backside. You should not wear clothes that cling to you.

NO BIKINIS.   Bikini = wearing your underwear in public.  Even with most one-piece bathing suits you should probably cover them with shorts. I know this sounds dramatic and archaic but trust me on this one.

You should not wear clothing that draws men’s eyes to your breasts.

Skirts should go past your knees and should have enough material that you can still walk when wearing them.

 

If you are in doubt about something don’t ask another girl or even your mom.   If dad is in the picture ask DAD! And when you ask him and he shocks you with his opinion, have the respect to listen to what he says. Remember, Women DO NOT THINK like men. If you do not have a Godly father or grandfather to ask, seek the advice of an older Godly woman and go by the basic guidelines I have listed above.

The point of this blog is not to be offensive, but to remind my sisters in Christ of their great worth and value.men-staring-at-woman  I hope it is helpful.

 

A Dad’s Proverbs 7 to His Girls

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Proverbs is one of my favorite books of the Bible.  It gives so much wisdom on how to live the day-to-day life.   Proverbs gives particular insight to young men and how to watch out for sexual temptation (Chapters 5 and 7) that could derail their lives and ultimately kill them.

I wish there was a chapter in the Bible like that for girls.   I have 3 girls that I want to be pure young ladies.   I want them to know what to watch out for.  I am writing this as an open letter for my girls to read and if you would like you can read it as well.  I am in no way comparing what I write to scripture.  These are just a few of my thoughts that I want my girls to consider as they grow up.

WATCH OUT FOR BOYS!  A COUPLE OF DON’TS!

Yong men have a deep sexual desire, especially in their teens, that they have not yet learned to control.  Because of this you must be wise and discerning.  Here are a few things you should not do.

Don’t sit on their laps.

Don’t kiss them.

Don’t give them full frontal hugs.

Don’t be alone with them.

Don’t share a blanket with them.  A lot can happen under a blanket.

Don’t start something you do not intend to finish.

Don’t start ‘dating’ until you are in a season of life where you are ready for marriage.  This is NOT 16 for most girls.   Do not awaken love until its time.

Don’t listen to them.  They will say whatever they have to in order to get you to make them feel sexual pleasure.   Their words, although they make you feel good, are shallow.  They have not had time to develop character that you will desire in a husband.   The man you want to marry will be a man who will seek first to honor God and then you and only after marriage will he one day be intimate with you.

YOU ARE SO VALUABLE!

God says you are valuable and I say you are valuable!  It is hard for a young man to see past your exterior.  Your body is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give.   The times we live in have cheapened sex to be as random as a hug or handshake but God never meant it to be so.   God meant it to be a mingling of two souls.   He wired your body and soul together.  You will have a deep emotional attachment to whomever you share your body with.   Save your body for your spouse.   Wait until marriage to have sex.  This will strengthen your marriage in years to come in a way that you cannot imagine at the present time.

BE CAREFUL

Be careful of the Internet.  Facebook, snapchat, twitter, and the 1000 other things that will be invented before you read this could be your undoing.  Don’t take a picture of yourself and put it online unless your dad has approved it.  Never take a picture of yourself and send it to a boy.   You never know where it may resurface.   I will help you with this.  Pictures and comments will be online for eternity and they could harm your future.

YOUR DRESS

The way you dress is a reflection of your heart.   If you dress provocatively it is a clear picture that you need attention and you will do whatever you have to in order to get attention.  Do not worry about how the other girls dress.   If you are a Godly woman with character then the right man WILL notice you at the right time.   Modesty does not hide a beautiful woman — it reveals her.  Your mother is a gorgeous modest woman and she can help you find modest fashion.  If you are ever in doubt about whether you should or should not wear something, ask me.   I will give you an honest answer.

A BIG CHOICE

Choosing a spouse is the second most important decision you will make in your life after choosing your God.   If you believe your mother and I love you then allow us to have a very strong voice in helping you choose who you will date and marry.  No one loves you like your mother and I and we may be able to see things in your potential suitors that you may be blind to because of infatuation.

LOOK DEEP

We are all somewhat superficial.  Please look at a man’s character more than his appearance.  As a young person I am sure you desire a man who will be attractive to you.  I can promise you that if you marry a man who loves Jesus with all his heart, over time, he will become your “Prince Charming.”   Proverbs 31 says of a woman that, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”   The same can be said of a man.  Look for a man who fears the Lord.

GRACE COVERS ALL SINS

Remember that Daddy and Mommy are praying for you.  No matter what decision you make in regard to your future husband please know that I am praying for you and for him.  I am praying God will give you wisdom and discernment that one day, if the Lord wills, you will find a man who loves you as much as I do…that might be impossible.