Sex, the God that Rules the USA 

Here is the general tidal wave crashing on the beach of our culture: “No one can tell you what you should do in regard to sexuality. The highest evil is preventing someone from having sex in any way…unless it involves children.” (Which I am sure this will soon change. I mean who are we to tell children what they can and cannot do? Apparently it is now wrong to even announce the gender of a child when they are born.)

If you are like me you have probably had your fill of seeing opinions for or against the Supreme Court Ruling on the Hobby Lobby Case.

In a nutshell here are the arguments:

For Hobby Lobby: Private companies should not be forced to pay for conscience violating birth control pills

Against: Hobby Lobby Hates Women!   Get the boss out of my bedroom.

This is such a hot button issue because it brings to light a much deeper divide in our country.   It is the same as all the other divides. It is a divide over what you believe about God.

Whether you agree or not, this country was founded on Christian values and principles.   Sure there are many examples of where our nation got it wrong (slavery, racism, etc..).   But, generally speaking since the foundation of our country the majority of individuals have believed that marriage is between a man and a woman. Sex should be reserved for marriage and marriage alone. This is the basic teaching of the Bible and of Jesus. The New Testament warns over and over about the harm of sex outside of marriage to both your body and your soul.   The Old Testament gives a number of examples of how harmful sex can be with multiples wives, partners, etc.

The culture in the USA is in a major sexual shift. We are becoming “enlightened.”   With the drugs we have today sex is freely available now more than ever.

The heart of the ideological war in our county is over SEX.

The loud voices of the media, liberal politicians, and college students everywhere are shouting, “there is no God and you should be able to do what is right in your own eyes.” Of course most don’t say it like this. In fact most would still identify themselves as Christians. But they are the type of Christians that think Jesus was a celestial nice guy that taught us how to tolerate everyone.   I guess they forget about the part that His message was so radical that they murdered Him on a cross.

The stereotype seems to be that anyone who tells you that you cannot do something, particularly in regards to sex, is evil and a religious nut. The media stereotypes Christians as those right wing nuts who eat the “hate” chicken at Chick Fila and want to take away your right to have sex. This is at the heart of the matter

Some of the most contentious issues in our Nation:

1)   Homosexuality, Same Sex marriage

2)   Abortion and Birth Control

3)   Transgender Issues

4)   Pornography

Most of the above listed issues are becoming more accepted by the country at large as permissible.

To be honest people who do not claim to be Christian should not be held to the standards of Christ. Lost people act lost. They are trying to find fulfillment in sex…however they will not find it. This will not change.   It will only get worse.   The only thing that is new is that now there are no laws to prevent all sorts of sexual deviance. The homosexual agenda has successfully, though falsely, made homosexual issues the civil rights issues of our day.   Who you have sex with is a choice and not a civil right.

I want you to think about this question: Does sex matter to God?

Culture in general is not evil but culture can go in evil directions.   Like an animal in heat, Christians must be SO CAREFUL not to chase after the culture in the area of sexual purity.   The Bible does not teach us that we are simply more evolved animals. The Bible teaches us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made with a purpose and a calling on our lives to bring glory to God. It is not, nor will it ever be ok for anyone who bears the name of Christ to have sex outside of the heterosexual confines of a marriage relationship. Period!

I have fears and optimism for the next generation of Christians in the US.

My fear is that, in general they are accepting homosexual behavior ok with God. Can we who died to sin continue to live in it?   May it never be! We must remember that we must hate that within ourselves that God hates, sin! We can never be ok with lusts and sex outside of what God says is ok. Sin brings death. We cannot love, in ourselves, or others that which brings death.

My optimism comes in the admission that the next generation will be more loving to homosexuals than the previous.   They do not fear or vilify people who identify themselves as homosexual.   Perhaps they will do a better job of reaching them with the Gospel of Jesus and providing them hope for freedom from a sexually perverse lifestyle.

What Does A Christian Do In Such A Culture Where Sex Is God?

 

Live Pure Lives

Don’t look at pornography or lust after someone who is not your spouse.   Do not sleep with someone you are not married too. Do not entertain yourself with sexual content (movies, shows, books that make you think of sex with people other than your spouse)

1 Corinthians 6:18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Teach Your Children What God Says About Sex.

Teach them that their bodies are valuable.   Teach them that God has a plan for their sex life.   Make sure you help them understand that sex is a good gift from God. His commands regarding sex are not to keep us from sex but to keep us for sex. Teach them that sex more than a physical exchange but a mingling of souls. Let them ask you questions. Be honest. Teach them the value of purity.

Do Not Seek To Shield Them…Teach Them.

Obviously there are some things you need to shield your children from. It is inevitable that they are going to see two men holding hands or two women kissing or even a commercial that shows a wholesome family with same sex parents.   These are teachable moments. Be clear that as people who follow Jesus we love all people but God teaches us that these lifestyle choices are wrong and sinful. Teach them of the harmful physical affects caused by sex outside of marriage. When they are old enough give them the statistics from the CDC, “Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM)a represent approximately 2% of the United States population, yet are the population most severely affected by HIV. In 2010, young gay and bisexual men (aged 13-24 years) accounted for 72% of new HIV infections among all persons aged 13 to 24, and 30% of new infections among all gay and bisexual men. At the end of 2010, an estimated 489,121 (56%) persons living with an HIV diagnosis in the United States were gay and bisexual men, or gay and bisexual men who also inject drugs.” Give them facts about the harmful physical illnesses caused by sex outside of God’s plan.

Stand Firm But Remember You Will Not Shout Someone To Your Side

Express your beliefs but do not get into shouting matches or arguments that are unfruitful with those who disagree with you. This is about as helpful as posting a Facebook meme about how awful president Obama is and then expect your liberal friends to want to be conservative. Not. Going. To. Happen.

Remember, just because the government now allows certain evils do not mean we must condone or accept them.

The signs outside of the Courthouse while waiting for the Hobby Lobby verdict read: “BOSSES OUT OF OUR BEDROOM!”

This can never be said of a Christian!   Our Boss is Jesus.  We can never take God out of our bedrooms or any other area of life.   I pray that we would make pleasing Jesus our highest goal, not sexual fulfillment.   I want to warn Christians not to make sexuality the god of their lives.

While Christians are winning fewer and fewer media and cultural debates we choose whether or not will win the private purity debate in our own lives. I encourage you, if you consider yourself a Christ follower to live a pure life and stand for what you believe God says about sexuality.

1 Peter 4:So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you have suffered physically for Christ, you have finished with sin.* You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.

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A Little Girl Died Today

There is a little girl named Annie Golden who died today.   She was a beautiful soul with a smile that could light up a room.   She died because she didn’t get a heart transplant. She died because she was not thought “worthy” enough to even be put on the list. Annie had Down syndrome.   This cognitive disability would prevent her from even being put on the transplant list.   My heart absolutely breaks for the family of this girl.

Little Annie Golden

You see, I have a little girl with Down syndrome.   She turned 6 months old yesterday.   My little girl’s name is Joy.   She is the youngest of my four children.   The last 6 months have changed my life in so many ways.

My journey started as most parents who have any child with special needs. It started out with ignorance. Like most people, I had been around people with special needs, but I’d never been a parent of a child with special needs, nor did I have a close family member with special needs to know and love.

So, in the beginning when my precious girl was born, I was ignorant. I only knew what I had been told by the culture at large. I only knew fear. Fear for the future. Fear of what others would think.   I had fear of my life being over or completely re-directed.   Fear that my child would be nothing more than a despised member of society by the culture at large.

LIES!! These were all lies!

After 6 months, I CANNOT adequately express how much joy, love, and hope my little Joy has brought into my life and the lives of the people around her. She is every bit as valuable as any of my other children.   In fact, I often feel sorry for my other three children because anyone who meets Joy is such a fool about her.   She is full of life!   She is full of love!   SHE IS A GIFT!   She is just how God wanted her to be. I wouldn’t change anything about my little girl. As a dad I would do whatever is in my power to help her if she was sick. I would try to move mountains to get her a heart if she needed it.

I was ignorant about how wonderful my daughter would be. I was also ignorant to a heinous evil that is going on towards people with Down syndrome.

They are being MURDERED!   They are being systematically eliminated by those who are called to protect life. It seems one of the main enemies of little children like mine are the very doctors who take an oath to protect and to save lives.

The reality is that the blood tests performed in a woman’s pregnancy are solely done so that the mother can choose to terminate her baby, and 90% of the time they do in the case of Down syndrome. So many times my wife and I have heard stories from parents of children with Down syndrome that their doctors actually advised an abortion or presented it as an option when they did not present it as an option before the test.   It is obvious that these children are not deemed “worthy” by the medical community as a whole.

Back to little Annie…she died this morning. It seems that the deciding factor to her being able to get a heart transplant was her cognitive ability. Did she have other factors? I am sure she did.   Anyone who needs a heart transplant will have some other factors, but once again, it seems the deciding factor was her IQ.

So now it seems an IQ test is needed for who lives and who dies. If you can score high enough on a standardized test then you are valuable enough to be given a chance at life. This is sick and it is wrong.

This is an actual CIVIL RIGHTS issue.   People with Down syndrome did not choose Down syndrome. It is part of their DNA. Where are the parades of people crying out that the murder of innocent children with disabilities be stopped?   Where is the outrage over little ANNIE?

What is valuable?

American Culture values net worth, IQ, and sex appeal. The God I serve values something different.   Here is what He says.

“1 Corinthians 13:1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Joy

My daughter may never have the highest score on the ACT. Little Annie may have never won the Spelling Bee, but I can promise you that my daughter and thousands of other children and adults like her with DS have been given an extra dose of what God says is most important: LOVE!!   I propose to you that just maybe those whom the culture is murdering are the ones we NEED THE MOST

JOY

Frail

This morning I had one of those frustrating and eye opening moments as I dropped my son off for school.  As I approached the school there was a small SUV in front of me that dropped off a precious little blonde haired girl excited to start her day.   She waved back to her mother and blew her a kiss.  It just so happened that this car was going the same direction as me.   I followed this car for about 5-6 miles.   As I followed this busy mom I became so frustrated I was literally SCREAMING at her from inside my truck.  Not once, not twice, but three times this mom ran across the center line of traffic and halfway into the lane of oncoming traffic before she would quickly correct her course.   One of these times she came very close to hitting an oncoming truck.  Even after this near brush with death the woman continued her erratic driving.  I was so tempted to follow her to where she was going and remind her that her little daughter and possibly husband needed her and she needed to stop looking at her phone and pay attention to the road!  I abstained from giving this woman a tongue-lashing.  I have all too often done the same thing.  My wife has gently scolded me as she reminds me that one glance at my phone could end my life.   This morning’s encounter reminded me that life is frail but so many other things have been reminding me of the same truth today.

Here are a few gentle nudges the Holy Spirit has given me.  Last night me healthy 38-year-old brother had a major surgery removing part of his colon.  The doctor said he would be in the hospital for at least two weeks with a very difficult recovery ensuing.   This morning I picked up the local paper and it had a picture of an awful wreck that killed a local man in my community.  Kenny Chesney’s song, “Don’t Blink” was on the radio this morning as I was driving to work.  All of these incidents remind me of the frail existence I take for granted most days.

The Bible tells us over and over again that life is short, frail, and fleeting.   The Bible describes the brevity of life as a blade of grass, a flower, and a vapor.  It is here one minute and gone the next.  This series of events in my life led me to the question as I was driving to work this morning, “If I died today would I be satisfied with the life that I’ve lived?”  The basic answer I came up with was, “yes and no.”  Yes, I am very satisfied! I am thankful for the job I have.  I am blessed with the best family and friends a person could ask for.  And, no, there are so many moments I am wasting and so many people I need to help and encourage.

I simply enjoy life.  I hurt…I go through trouble…I face people that do not like me, but when I take a step back and look at all my blessings it is vital to just stop, thank God, and enjoy life.

3 TRUTHS WE CANNOT AVOID

1)  Time does not stop nor does it slow down. 

2)  Our health is more fragile than we think it is.

3)  Death is coming to every one of us sooner than we think it is.

20-30 MINUTES EACH DAY THAT WILL MAKE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE BETTER 

I want to make my life count, as I am sure you do as well.  I want to challenge you for one week to do 4 things that busyness has prevented you from doing.

1)   HUG AND KISS YOUR SPOUSE (If you have one) FOR 1 FULL MINUTE EACH DAY – No, not the peck on the cheek or the quick hug as you are running out the door.  Take a solid minute…a whole minute…just wrap yourself up in their embrace and with all that you can, remind them that you deeply love them.

2)   REPEAT STEP ONE WITH YOUR CHILDREN

3)   HAVE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS WITH THE MOST MEANINGFUL PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.  Most parents are so busy taking their children places they never take the time to stop and look their children in the eyes and just talk with them.  Would you take 5 minutes of your time today to talk to them…no phone…no distractions…just them and you.

4)   PRAY FOR 10 SOLID MINUTES.  No phone.  No Internet.  No Ipad.  No prayer sheet.   Take 10 minutes.  Sit in His presence.  Listen.  Talk.  This will radically change your life.

Do these 4 things for a week and I will promise you they will enrich your life. Water-Glass

The Horror Of Having A Child With Down Syndrome

Horror!  That is quite a word.   It is a word that makes me think back to when I was a kid and saw my first Dracula movie.  I was so scared that I had nightmares for weeks (Now vampires sparkle but that is a blog for another day).  Horror is a terrifying word and yet when people think about their supposedly healthy child being born with the condition of Down syndrome (DS) the word Horror comes to mind.  It is almost like a death sentence.   This is not what you expected.  This is not what you had hoped for.   So much to learn…so much to do…so much to think about.

Since our daughter Joy was born with DS everyone one asks me, “How are you and Charyl?”  “How is Joy?”

I have to be completely honest with you.  I am not going to hold back the bitter truth…

Joy has been the most delightful child I could imagine!

Here are some real horrors we have experienced with our little Joy

THE HORROR OF SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT – Joy is now 11 weeks old and she has slept through the night since we brought her home.  Our other children have not been sleepers.  We went almost a solid year without a good nights sleep with our twin girls.  Joy’s awesome sleeping schedule has allowed Charyl and I to be able to quickly adjust to the needs of a family of 6.

THE HORROR OF SNUGGLINESS – Apparently snuggliness is not a word but I am making it up because it so accurately describes Joy.  She is the cuddliest child imaginable.   I have nicknamed her “Snuggles.”  She is like having a little warmer full of love on your chest.  If you could somehow package love and hold it in your arms my little girl would be what you would come up with.

THE HORROR OF SUPER BIG SMILES, TONS OF BABY NOISES, AND PLAYFUL EXCITEMENT – I don’t want you to get the impression that Joy sleeps all the time or does not interact.  She loves to interact with everyone she comes in contact with.  She is very social.   She “talks” all the time.   She loves for her brother and sisters to talk with her and play with her.

I will not say that our experience with Joy is typical of all parents who have children with Downs.   Many children have open-heart surgery during the first few weeks of their life.  Some children with DS have many different health issues.  However, I will say that the joy found in parenting a child with DS seems to be unanimously wonderful across the board.  I have had the opportunity to meet a number of parents who have children with DS and all of them have such a deep love and appreciation for their child.

The only real horror of downs is the same horror I have for all of my children.

It is the horror of fear.

The horror of fear of the future that has not yet come and may never be.  Fear and worry are brothers from the same father, Satan.  They say that worry is a down payment on something that you may never need to pay for.

Fear is satanic in nature.   When we worry we are saying to God that we cannot trust Him with our future.   We cannot trust Him with our children.

2 Timothy 1:7 God didn’t give us a spirit that makes us weak and fearful. He gave us a spirit that gives us power and love. It helps us control ourselves.

I cannot speak about what God has in the future for Joy, or any of my other children.   I can speak of what I know.  I know that God has been faithful to my family and I.  I know He WILL continue to be faithful.  Joy’s DS has just given us one more reason to trust our heavenly Father more, for that I am eternally grateful. IMG_3069 IMG_3244 IMG_2933

DON’T CALL HER BIG MAMA

My wife is gloriously pregnant with our 4th child.   She is beautiful.   I love her round belly.  I love to put my hand on it and feel our little daughter moving inside.   I love the “pregnancy glow” that my wife shines about.   With each pregnancy we go through I am more grateful for the sacrifices my wife makes in order to bring children into the world

IMG_1548

Each pregnancy has its difficulties.   It starts of with a few months of sickness.  Morning and evening spent nauseous and throwing up as her body adjusts to the new life forming within her.  Those first couple of months she is very tired and finds it hard to find the energy to do very much.  Next, her clothes stop fitting and she has to switch over to maternity clothing.  She then has a brief window during the second trimester that affords relative ease and enjoyment.   Then the 3rd trimester comes.   This is the hardest.  Her back hurts.  Her legs hurt.   It is very difficult to sleep at night and to get comfortable.  Her walk becomes a waddle.  Stairs and everyday movements become more restricted.   Bending over to pick something up becomes a challenge.  The closer she gets to the due date the more miserable it gets.   She goes through all this because she knows that the little life God is creating within her is worth the entire struggle.   I have found that through each pregnancy the most difficult effects for my wife to endure are not physical but emotional.   With each pregnancy I have seen her become discouraged by how others respond to her changing body.   This has really made me love her more because of her sacrifice.

Some things about middle school and high school I can remember pretty vividly.  These are some of the hardest times in life as you are self conscious about the way you look and how others perceive you.  Some kids are skinny and some are overweight.   Some are smart and some are jocks.   I don’t think any person makes it out of middle school undamaged.  We have all been ridiculed and hurt by the words of others.

Acne was particularly embarrassing to me.  I had a reoccurring large zit that would come up on the tip of my nose and it dominated my life and thoughts.   It didn’t help that my close friends would call me ‘Rudolph’ (thanks Carson J) and ridicule me about it.   I can remember not wanting to see anyone, not wanting to go to school for fear of embarrassment, and every time I spoke with someone I was sure that all they were thinking about was the large abnormality on my nose.   There was nothing I could do about my nose condition, but after a few days it would go away and life would be back to normal.

As I have seen my wife struggle as she gets dressed and looks at her ever-expanding belly in the mirror.  Little comments people make deject her.   Most people do not realize how they make her feel.   Most of us don’t think through how our words will make others feel.  People say things like, “You haven’t had that baby yet?”  “Are you having two again?”  “You still have HOW MANY months left?”  Most of the people that say these things are friends, family and well meaning loved ones.  Each time I hear someone say something like that to my wife it hurts me because I know she must feel like I did as a middle school kid facing ridicule.  Motherhood is a special calling that should be held in honor among all things.   I am so thankful for what my mother endured to give me life.   Most of us know someone right now who is pregnant.  As you think about moms and pregnant women let me offer a few suggestions when speaking to them.

Only say uplifting words to pregnant women.  If you cannot say anything nice then don’t say anything at all.  Here are some statements that would be appropriate: “You look great!”  “Congratulations.”  “Pregnancy looks so good on you.”  “I can’t wait to meet your new baby.”  “Is there anything you need?”  “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

Don’t say anything that might verify what the pregnant lady already feels about the way she looks. I listed a few of these above but here are a few more to watch out for: “That’s going to be a BIG baby!”  “Wide load coming through!”  “How you doing, Big Mama?”   Just a quick reminder even if you are being sarcastic…sarcasm almost always hurts.

Let’s do all we can to watch our words and be sensitive to those who give life.

1 Timothy 2:15 But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.

The Wonder Of It All

Psalm 40:5 Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done, And Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You.   If I would declare and speak of them, They would be too numerous to count.

I love doing things with my children.  Usually it is hard for me to get the energy to do what I need to do as a dad, but when I do what I should I never regret it.   I often regret moments of selfishness when I do not spend the time I need with my little ones.   At the time of this writing my twin girls are age three.  For their third birthday we bought them little princess bicycles with streamers and training wheels.  They were so excited to get their bikes and wanted to ride them right away.  They often rode tricycles at their grandparent’s house so I thought the transition would be a breeze…I was wrong.  I have taken them out many times to teach them to ride.  Each time we tried we would all end up frustrated and crying.   They were fearful and could not figure out the braking process.   As soon as they would slowly inch forward they would cry out, “Daddy!  Daddy!”  Each time I took them out to try to ride they would discover something new.   They would inch a little further.  Yesterday we went for a ride and they took off like never before.  This bike riding adventure gives a clear illustration of the bigger picture in parenting.  We inch them along day by day and then one day (tears) they no longer need us to hold them up.  This is the goal and blessing of parenting.  I try to keep in my mind each day that these few brief years I have small children cannot be wasted.  Soon they will ride away and start their own families.

We have many responsibilities to our children but we do not go unpaid.  Each day, if we make ourselves available and aware, our children provide for us priceless treasures in themselves.  They laugh, smile, hug, love, learn, and shine with the wonder of life that we as parents often forget.  We get bogged down with stress, bills, deadlines and responsibilities.  Children are our treasures that ground us to the joy and wonder of life.   Don’t miss the treasures that they are offering you today.

6 FATHERING TRIPWIRES

A tripwire is a passive triggering mechanism. Typically, a wire or cord is attached to some device for detecting or reacting to physical movement.  Tripwires are frequently used in boobytraps, whereby a tug on the wire (or release of tension on it) will detonate the explosives.

Tripwires are almost invisible and usually when a soldier has discovered the wire it’s too late.   These tripwires have killed thousands in battle over the years.   I believe there are many tripwires that can be explosive in the home.   It is important for dads to recognize these tripwires in their own lives before it is too late and they do permanent damage to their children and wives.  It seems that so many people are damaged for life because of some wound their dad has inflicted upon their heart.  Daddy wounds can take a lifetime to heal and sometimes never do.   Here are 6 tripwires I believe all dad’s need to be careful not to cross

 

THE WORK WIRE – All me were made to work and a lazy man is really no man at all.   If we are honest something happens when we get a family.  We deeply love our children and our wife but coming home feels like a lot like work.  It is work.  The work of being a father and a husband is often more emotionally taxing than our actual job.   In order to avoid the stress of dealing with problems at home many men simply work longer hours and use work as their excuse not to come home.  Anyone who says that a stay at home mom does not work is crazy.  I know if I were a stay at home mom there would be many days I would be glad to deal the corporate workplace instead of whining, potty training, and 1000’s of “I’m Hungry’s” and “She won’t share’s.”  When you are tempted to work late remember that your time at home is short and your kid’s and wife desperately need you.  You may bring home a paycheck, but it is even more important that your bring yourself home to serve your family.

 

THE CHECKOUT WIRE – I have heard so many ridiculous excuses.  “I just don’t love the children’s mother any more.”  “Doesn’t God want me to be happy?”  “They are probably better off without me.”   Men use these and other reasons to check out on their families.  Real men stay.  They make it work.   They don’t abandon their children while pacifying their conscience with a monthly check.  Go to counseling.   Learn to forgive.  Get in a small group at a church where you can get support. But for heaven sake DON’T QUIT!

 

THE HOBBY WIRE – Fishing, hunting, golf, exercise and any other hobby that you may love are wonderful ways to enjoy life and relieve stress.   Be careful not to do them in excess.  If you are going to have hobbies make sure they are things you can do with your children.   Remember you will have time for hobbies when your children are gone.

 

THE VICARIOUS LIVING WIRE – If you are a dad you believe your children are special (If you don’t you should).   You believe your son is particularly gifted at sports and your daughter is the best dancer and pianist in the bunch.   I am glad you believe in your child.   You should offer them healthy support and encourage them to do and be their best.   But be careful not to push them to try to be something you want more than they do.  Don’t be the dad that curses the umpire out at the game.  Don’t be the dad that has a talk with or pay the little league coach to get your kid in the game.  Don’t be the dad that pushes your child to excel so much in their particular field that they no longer enjoy the joy of childhood.   Don’t try to make them the athlete, student, musician, or popular kid that you never were.  Let them be who God made them to be and love them for who they are, whether they make it to the big leagues or not.

 

THE GROUCH WIRE – Maybe you are with them but you don’t have fun with them.   You are so focused on them being perfect that you never take the time to laugh with them, tickle them, and play with them.   Leave work at work.   Turn of the TV and get off your phone.  Don’t take your stress out on your children.  I think we are all guilty of this one from time to time.

 

THE PORNOGRAPHY WIRE – This is one that is blowing up families everywhere.  Whether you are the good dad with the secret habit or the man who doesn’t try to hide this issue.  More families than ever are severely effected by the viral plague of pornography.   Pornography turns people into objects.   It turns your mind into an insatiable lust machine.   It makes your wife feel unloved and insufficient.  One result that may be most harmful is how it disturbs your children.  Your son’s will likely take on your dirty habit and not be able to see women as the treasure that God made them.  They will view young ladies as a object of their desire.   Pornography makes you awkward around your little daughter especially if her body is changing.  You cannot have your teenage daughter’s friend’s over without lusting after them and you cannot show affection towards your daughter as you should.   You become awkward hugging her and giving her the innocent affection that she needs and craves from her father.   If you can’t give it to her then she will find male attention somewhere.  She will probably find some hormone crazed teenage boy who will be glad to give her attention in all the wrong ways.  Your addiction could blow up her security for the rest of her life. trip-wire