Proverbs is one of my favorite books of the Bible. It gives so much wisdom on how to live the day-to-day life. Proverbs gives particular insight to young men and how to watch out for sexual temptation (Chapters 5 and 7) that could derail their lives and ultimately kill them.
I wish there was a chapter in the Bible like that for girls. I have 3 girls that I want to be pure young ladies. I want them to know what to watch out for. I am writing this as an open letter for my girls to read and if you would like you can read it as well. I am in no way comparing what I write to scripture. These are just a few of my thoughts that I want my girls to consider as they grow up.
WATCH OUT FOR BOYS! A COUPLE OF DON’TS!
Yong men have a deep sexual desire, especially in their teens, that they have not yet learned to control. Because of this you must be wise and discerning. Here are a few things you should not do.
Don’t sit on their laps.
Don’t kiss them.
Don’t give them full frontal hugs.
Don’t be alone with them.
Don’t share a blanket with them. A lot can happen under a blanket.
Don’t start something you do not intend to finish.
Don’t start ‘dating’ until you are in a season of life where you are ready for marriage. This is NOT 16 for most girls. Do not awaken love until its time.
Don’t listen to them. They will say whatever they have to in order to get you to make them feel sexual pleasure. Their words, although they make you feel good, are shallow. They have not had time to develop character that you will desire in a husband. The man you want to marry will be a man who will seek first to honor God and then you and only after marriage will he one day be intimate with you.
YOU ARE SO VALUABLE!
God says you are valuable and I say you are valuable! It is hard for a young man to see past your exterior. Your body is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give. The times we live in have cheapened sex to be as random as a hug or handshake but God never meant it to be so. God meant it to be a mingling of two souls. He wired your body and soul together. You will have a deep emotional attachment to whomever you share your body with. Save your body for your spouse. Wait until marriage to have sex. This will strengthen your marriage in years to come in a way that you cannot imagine at the present time.
Be careful of the Internet. Facebook, snapchat, twitter, and the 1000 other things that will be invented before you read this could be your undoing. Don’t take a picture of yourself and put it online unless your dad has approved it. Never take a picture of yourself and send it to a boy. You never know where it may resurface. I will help you with this. Pictures and comments will be online for eternity and they could harm your future.
The way you dress is a reflection of your heart. If you dress provocatively it is a clear picture that you need attention and you will do whatever you have to in order to get attention. Do not worry about how the other girls dress. If you are a Godly woman with character then the right man WILL notice you at the right time. Modesty does not hide a beautiful woman — it reveals her. Your mother is a gorgeous modest woman and she can help you find modest fashion. If you are ever in doubt about whether you should or should not wear something, ask me. I will give you an honest answer.
A BIG CHOICE
Choosing a spouse is the second most important decision you will make in your life after choosing your God. If you believe your mother and I love you then allow us to have a very strong voice in helping you choose who you will date and marry. No one loves you like your mother and I and we may be able to see things in your potential suitors that you may be blind to because of infatuation.
We are all somewhat superficial. Please look at a man’s character more than his appearance. As a young person I am sure you desire a man who will be attractive to you. I can promise you that if you marry a man who loves Jesus with all his heart, over time, he will become your “Prince Charming.” Proverbs 31 says of a woman that, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” The same can be said of a man. Look for a man who fears the Lord.
GRACE COVERS ALL SINS
Remember that Daddy and Mommy are praying for you. No matter what decision you make in regard to your future husband please know that I am praying for you and for him. I am praying God will give you wisdom and discernment that one day, if the Lord wills, you will find a man who loves you as much as I do…that might be impossible.