1 Peter 3:3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
It is that glorious time of the year known as spring. In our hyper-sexualized culture as the heat rises clothes start to come off. To say our culture is obsessed with body image would be like saying Antarctica is kind of chilly.
As someone that cares about Christian women I want to give a little pastoral/fatherly counsel. I find there are less and less young ladies that have a Godly father or male role model to speak truth into their lives. I would like to speak to Christian females as a loving father, as if I am talking to my three girls. These are some things I will tell my girls as they grow up, they may be helpful to some of you grown women as well.
Everything you wear says something about who you are and what is in your heart. While most women would not verbalize this, or even think about it, they want people to look at them. They want others, particularly men, to think they are beautiful. Today, people spend countless hours at the gym and tons of money in order to make their bodies look a certain way. Most of the time people say that diet and exercise is for their health but if their hearts were exposed it is really about 10% for their health and 90% so they can look good (this is true of both men and women). They have been told since the time of childhood that princesses are beautiful and wicked stepsisters are ugly. From almost the moment of birth little girls are taught that so much of their value is found in their looks.
Ugly = bad
Yoga pants defined – tight (usually black…black is slimming you know) pants that cling to every fabric of your skin. These pants are appropriate to wear at home with your husband and are great to go underneath a dress or long tunic…however when you leave your rear end uncovered you are pleading with every man in eye shot to check out your backside.
WHAT WOMEN CANNOT UNDERSTAND
Contrary to popular opinion God made men and women different. Women and men are wired so differently it is impossible for a woman to understand how a man’s mind works (It is doubly impossible for a man to understand how a woman’s mind works). Men are visual. God wired us in such a way that when it comes to the female form we do not miss much. If a woman is wearing something that is tight fitting, too short, too low cut, etc., a man will notice. He may not admit he notices, but he does. I can hear the rebuttal from women now, “Men are just a bunch of dogs and should learn to control themselves.” Perhaps your argument it very sound. Men are geared with a deep sexual desire that God gave them to express in the joys of a marital relationship. But saying men are like dogs does not change that fact that men are looking. Christian men are looking. Ladies this may creep you out but you need to know, OLDER (think grandpas…eww) men are looking. You see, the desires of a man’s flesh never changes. Whether he is young or old he has to constantly deny those sinful desires and seek to honor the Lord with his mind. If you love your brother in Christ and do not want him to see you or think of you in a way less than holy then consider these few questions and ponder them in your heart:
ARE YOU ADVERTIZING WHAT IS NOT FOR SALE?
When you put a “For Sale” sign on something, if it is interesting people will check it out. If you put a “FOR SALE: CHEAP” sign on something they may want to buy it if they have to pay very little. When you wear clothes that are immodest, you are advertising to the men all around you that you are cheap. God made women in His image and He never meant for them to be cheap. The Bible says that He bought our redemption not with silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ. If Christ would pay this much for your soul, why would you advertise your body as cheap? I will tell my girls that they are very valuable and when they find the man God has for them to marry, they will know because he will marry them before he tries to sleep with them. If you’re dressing in a way that is immodest, would you consider that you are inviting men to think about you in a sexual way? According to the Bible, this way of thinking should be reserved for your husband. Christian men should see Christian women as daughters, sisters, or as mothers. Do you want your Christian brother to think of you as an object of lust, or as a sister in Christ? The way you dress WILL influence how he thinks of you.
ARE YOU MAKING OTHERS FOCUS ON A PART OF YOU THAT WILL SOON FADE AWAY?
Your looks are not around for long. Even the most beautiful woman may have 40 years of stunning physical attraction. What happens after she has passed her prime? What happens when your perfect curves begin to sag? What happens when that beautiful skin begins to wrinkle? If you have made others value your looks then you are quickly losing your value. If you value comes from, “the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” then as you get older you only become more precious to God and others. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
ARE YOU TAKING WHAT GOD MADE HOLY AND MAKING IT COMMON?
There is a Proverb that says, “A beautiful woman who lacks discretion
is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” Can you picture gold, the most precious of metals, in the nose of the most vile animal? A pig spends its days in the slop and has no need or concern for the value of gold. A woman who is immodest is taking the gold that God has given her and putting it before pigs (sorry guys). You are so much more valuable than your vessel. You are not a body that has a soul, but you are a soul that has a temporary body. Your body will soon wear out. Help people look at you for what is lasting about you and not what is quickly fading away. Here is what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:15 “Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ?”
HERE ARE A FEW BASIC GUIDELINES THAT MAY BE HELPFUL.
Wear Yoga Pants/Tight Pants in private and not in public unless you are covering your backside. You should not wear clothes that cling to you.
NO BIKINIS. Bikini = wearing your underwear in public. Even with most one-piece bathing suits you should probably cover them with shorts. I know this sounds dramatic and archaic but trust me on this one.
You should not wear clothing that draws men’s eyes to your breasts.
Skirts should go past your knees and should have enough material that you can still walk when wearing them.
If you are in doubt about something don’t ask another girl or even your mom. If dad is in the picture ask DAD! And when you ask him and he shocks you with his opinion, have the respect to listen to what he says. Remember, Women DO NOT THINK like men. If you do not have a Godly father or grandfather to ask, seek the advice of an older Godly woman and go by the basic guidelines I have listed above.